At This Moment (I’m in Bogotá, and this is how I feel about it).
Do you ever feel like you aren’t living your own life? Like maybe you are dreaming and you are going to wake up and find out that it’s not real?
That’s how I feel right now.
I’m sitting in Bogotá, Colombia, in a beautiful hotel that Fulbright paid for. I’m about to go meet some awesome people for dinner, which will also be on Fulbright’s dime. I have spent two years dreaming about being a Fulbrighter. I have spent three years dreaming of living internationally again. I cannot even remember how long I have dreamed about traveling to South America.
For some reason, I cannot seem to accept that some of my biggest dreams have come true, and I’m living them right now. I’m not going to wake up from this. Every time I realize that, I get excited all over again.
I haven’t blogged much this summer for a multitude of reasons. At the beginning, there wasn’t much for me to say. Then, there was so much to say that I couldn’t figure out how to express it in words that you could read and understand. This summer hasn’t gone how I expected or planned, but it’s been a good one. It has given me time to reflect and prepare for this year that is ahead of me. Back in May, I was telling a dear friend of mine that I sensed that this next year was going to be a period of change and growing for me, more so than this last year in Atlanta has been. I’m excited for what it has to bring.
Everyone has been asking me how I feel about moving to Colombia. Honestly, I have peace about it. I have my concerns, but at the end of the day, I’m confident that this is what I’m supposed to be doing. The decisions I’ve made this last year and even this past summer have been the right ones. I am where I am supposed to be; there’s comfort in that.
Although my heart is racing from the elevation (8,000 feet for this week!), my soul is calm. My concerns are legitimate: full-time native Spanish, working with 22 different professors, overworking myself, culture shock, leaving my family and my boyfriend and my friends, and living high up in the cold mountains. I’m not naïve enough to think that these things will be easy, but I’m also not afraid.
At this moment, my heart is full and I am feeling blessed beyond measure.
I hope that wherever you are, you too are blessed.
Oh. I guess some of you read my blog in order to actually hear about my travels. So far, I’ve made it safely to Bogotá, and I’m spending the evening relaxing in the hotel after starting my travels at 3:30AM (this is why this post is less coherent than usual). Tomorrow starts a full week of orientation, and I want to be well rested for that.